there lies the field, decorated with bent fingers of broken stalks curling up from beneath the earth and soil as each fractured straw stretches in myriad directions. marks are cut into the earth at the feet of behemoth machines that lurch in smoking breaths up and down the length of the field while their teeth gnash in mechanical harvest. sunlight fans and slices down and through faint skies of an overcast pall that stifles the quickly diminishing daylight. in the forrest neighboring, there camps a ragged and torn figure of unassuming frame and quiet stature. he tends the fire that flickers at his feet, its warmth an ember fountain that sways and dances and falls and rises in the increasing persistence of the breeze. the ragged figure holds his palms outwards as to absorb the heat. the night has begun to fall now. in the encompassing sheet of nightfall the fire burns brighter and brighter. 

the ragged figure remembers little. only a name. his name. the name william. where he has been is a faint semblance viewed through a fog, its nature concealed behind a pane of rippled glass. with some thought and concentration the figure becomes clearer. but it is an effort. it is no small task. and where he is going is but a stark white canvas. with some luck the past will come into focus. the veil will be lifted. and then perhaps the destination will become more apparent. more concrete. but for now he is just a ghost drifting from uncertain origin to unknown destination. nothing more than a ghost. ragged william the ghost. he warms his meal on the heat of the ember and flare writhing at his feet. the stars bespeckle the blue-black dome overhead in brilliant glows of whites and yellows and blues and reds. the moon is a sickle. from the distance come the sounds of howling and barks of coyotes engaged in nocturnal hunt. he decides their distance is an acceptable one and makes to turn in for the night and dream of a fogged antiquity of self and an uncertain horizon.

so many stupid people
full of shit and god knows
what else
the compost that powers
their endlessly flapping jaws
and empty rattling heads
these people are the loudest
of the whole fucking bunch
with no end to the eternal
asshole parade

we all move in our own worlds
perceptions of an undefinable external
stimulating environment
our minds are unpredictable machines
arranging this information in ways
that are the same but so very different
from person to person
we captain our own ships
we steer our own vessels
we are the owners of a soul
and a heart and mind
unique to each of us
our perceptions interlocking and
interacting
we are the masters of our own experience
of our own fate
we make our realities
we all move within them 

it’s there 
always
the sharp blood soaked
tusks of anxiety
gnawing and thrashing
and chewing away
eating you alive
for days on end
and so i fear
fear fear fear fear
fear

fear i will never hold
a steady job
or healthy relationship
restrained by the toothed
cage of anxiety’s unrelenting
grasp on the
human mind and soul
and body
and heart
merciless and unpredictable
it moves in shadows
in and out and in and out
and in and out and in and out and
in and out again
there then gone

so you go on this way
just hoping for
the best
just hoping for it to
vanish into the horizon and
set with the sun
one day
never to return again
so that you might breathe free
and easy and relieved  
it’s all you can do
sometimes 
is hope 

isn’t it always the same
goddamn thing
the same familiar dull ache
of emptiness and isolation
isn’t it always
the same damn thing
everyone so full of ambiguity
these girls
you never can be so sure
what you’re goin to get
but yet you should because
after all
it’s always the same
goddamned thing isn’t it
she’s there one moment
like a ultraviolet flash out of
the corners of the stars
and then gone the very next
vanished like a blanket of dust
tossed and scattered
in all directions
across the great infinite plains of
time

“she was like the ocean” he thought,
“beautiful calm on the surface
but churning with black waters
and violent curiosities beneath”

squat gray brick house
coughing smoke
from a chimney in the
cool fall air like a 
deflated nicotine addict
puff puff puffing away
the squallor and disappointment
windows cracked like the
skin of a sun beaten fisherman
and the paint peeling and
chipping away slowly in the
gale and gusts of natures sharp
and swift sword 
on the doorstep sits ome lone
feline watchman while
the yard lies decorated
with the rusted skeleton
of a tipped over tricycle 
with empty shoes and broken
potted plants all dead and
lost there in the grass

flickering october night
in the rustling of leaves and
grass and branches
the scattered artillery
rounds of renewing crisp
rainfall and the indifferent
crunch of dead leaves
and in the curving illusion
of the rain swaying
and trickling against the glass
of a hotel room window
the illustated movements
of the neon signs and
blue electric marquees
advertise distraction and
advertise entertainment
the city is an organ
scarred by a million tiny knives
yet bursting with
the unique and immediate
vibrance of life

nobody minds
their own fucking business
anymore
everyone is scoring everyone
judging and ranking
everyone is cataloged and
filed away for amusement
the clothes on your back
the pen in your hand
as it traces across the paper
the shoes on your feet
your car, your height, your skin
all the subject of frantic
criticism and intrusive conclusion
for the amusement
of a mindless global
peanut gallery

she danced wild and free
graceful and alive with
all kinds of burning white light
energy and life
delicate features
porcelain skin and
raven hair
dancing
dancing
dancing
full of beauty and grace
and uninhibited joy
just to be there dancing
driven by the heart
of the music as it drummed
away and away
pulsing through her every move
god how i would’ve loved
to have danced there with her
for her to have hauled me
up off of my sorry ass
and thrown me into that
pulsing inferno of
pure joy
born of something so elegant
so simple
i could’ve sat and watched
her dance for hours
but as the night grew old
the music ceased and
so did
the dance
and off she went